I currently call Sonoma County home, and although I did not grow up here, I have come to love all that Sonoma County offers. This county—like Napa County, San Luis Obispo County, and Riverside County— is highly known for its wine industry and the beauty, artistry, and community that comes along with it. Visitors see rolling vineyards, award-winning tasting rooms, and fancy bottles. But those who work in this world know another layer, one that includes chronic stress, long hours, unpredictable seasons, and now, more than ever, a deep sense of uncertainty about the future.

For many people, the New Year carries a sense of possibility; think fresh starts, big dreams, new habits. But on the flip side, this idea that we need to create major change in our lives can provoke anxiety and internalized pressure. Instead of excitement, you might feel guilt, or dread every time someone asks “Do you have any New Year’s Resolutions?”. The idea of setting ambitious goals might bring up feelings of failure, not hope.

Today, I’m interviewing Dr. Deborah Ma (aka Dr. Deb)  of Puzzle Acupuncture in San Francisco. Dr. Deb is a Doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and a licensed acupuncturist with over 17 years of clinical experience. Her journey in medicine began at the Beijing University of Chinese Medicine—the world’s top TCM university—where she earned both a medical degree and PhD. She spent a decade working at Beijing United Family Hospital, China’s premier private hospital, where she collaborated daily with OB/GYNs, neurologists, and pediatricians.

The holidays can be meaningful and joyful and also overwhelming, exhausting, and emotionally complicated. If you live with anxiety, struggle with burnout, or tend to put others’ needs before your own, this season can feel like a pressure cooker of expectations.

Most of us move through life with a long list of things we should be doing. But “shoulds” aren’t values. They’re often inherited expectations passed down from family, culture, community, or workplace norms. And when those expectations guide our choices more than our inner compass does, we end up feeling disconnected, resentful, overwhelmed, or unsure of who we are and what we want.

“Be a team player.” If you’ve ever read a job posting or sat through a performance review, you’ve probably seen this phrase. It sounds innocent, even virtuous. After all, teamwork is important, right?

But here’s the thing: this so-called “team player” expectation often comes with hidden costs that not everyone feels them equally.

As the days grow shorter and the temperatures drop, many people notice their mood shifting. November, especially, tends to bring a wave of heaviness, tiredness, or unexpected sadness. If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I feel down every November?”, you’re far from alone.

Helping professionals and anyone whose job centers on supporting others—tend to be some of the most compassionate, emotionally attuned people in the workforce. Yet those same strengths make them particularly vulnerable to burnout.

Birthdays are supposed to be joyful, affirming milestones—but for many people-pleasers, they can feel wildly uncomfortable. If you find yourself dreading your birthday rather than looking forward to it, you’re not alone. Here’s why this happens, what’s going on beneath the surface, and how you can navigate it more gently.

Welcome Back to My Holistic Healing Interview Series

Today I’m interviewing Chloe France, MSW, who is a social worker specializing in working with folks with dementia and their caregivers. We wanted to talk today about the upcoming holidays and why caregivers may need and benefit from some specialized support. 

In this first installment of Tiny Cottage Therapy’s new Holistic Healing Interview Series:

Discover how naturopathic medicine supports mental health by addressing the body’s root causes. We speak with Dr. Kirstin Uncur, ND, a naturopathic doctor specializing in mental health, hormone balance, and chronic fatigue. Dr. Uncur shares how understanding the body’s communication—through digestion, inflammation, and nutrient balance—can transform emotional wellbeing.

High-functioning anxiety is one of those experiences that often goes unnoticed by others, and sometimes even by ourselves. On the outside, you may look composed, capable, and productive. You meet deadlines, show up for others, and seem to “have it all together.”

Caregiving is deeply relational work. Whether you’re caring for aging parents, chronically ill family members, or loved ones with disability, you carry both visible tasks and invisible emotional burdens. In APIDA communities, these burdens often overlap with cultural expectations of filial piety, sacrifice, and duty.

Many of us grew up hearing explicit or implicit messages like “Work hard, make your family proud, and don’t waste the sacrifices that were made for you.” These messages often come from love, perseverance, and cultural survival. They’re passed down through generations that endured hardship by prioritizing endurance, humility, and achievement.

But over time, these values can turn into overwhelming pressure. You may feel driven to achieve, hesitant to rest, or afraid to disappoint others, while constantly living with a quiet sense of “not enough.”