When Relaxation Feels Unsettling: Understanding Anxiety Around Calming Practices
And how to gently rebuild your relationship with rest and stillness
If you've ever tried to meditate or take a deep breath, only to feel more anxious instead of calmer, you're not alone. For many people—especially those with anxiety—the idea of relaxing can feel uncomfortable, or even threatening. This reaction even has a name: relaxation-induced anxiety or relaxation-induced panic. It may sound counterintuitive, but it happens to people all the time.
What Is Relaxation-Induced Panic?
Relaxation-induced panic is when someone experiences an increase in anxiety symptoms (racing thoughts, heart palpitations, or shortness of breath) during or immediately after attempting to relax (Heide & Borkovec, 1983). It can happen during activities such as meditation, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or even just being still.
While many people find these practices soothing, others may experience a spike in discomfort. This is especially common in those with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, or trauma histories (Kim et al., 2014).
Why Does This Happen?
There are a few theories:
Heightened awareness of bodily sensations: When you slow down, you might become more tuned in to physical sensations that you usually ignore, like your heartbeat or your breath. For people with anxiety, this can trigger a fear response (Khalsa et al., 2009).
Loss of control: Relaxation requires letting go, and for people who rely on hypervigilance to feel safe, that can be incredibly uncomfortable.
Conditioned response: If your body has associated stillness or quiet with danger (for example, if trauma occurred during rest), trying to relax may unintentionally trigger a threat response (Thayer et al., 2000).
What It Might Look Like
Here’s an example:
A high-achieving professional decides to try guided meditation for the first time. About three minutes in, they notice their chest feels tight and their thoughts start racing: What if I can’t breathe? What if I’m doing this wrong? What’s happening to me?
Instead of calming down, their anxiety ramps up and they leave the session feeling defeated. They now so hesitant to try again and grow more frustrated as people as “Hey, have you tried meditating?”
Sound familiar?
You’re Not Doing It Wrong
The issue isn’t that relaxation is bad, rather it’s that your nervous system might not feel safe enough to relax yet. It doesn’t mean you’re incapable of peace; it just means we might need a different entry point. It could also mean you need to stop rushing yourself into relaxation, and instead work on building skills and habits to get there over time.
Tools and Methods That Can Help
1. Start with Movement, Not Stillness
Try gentle movement-based practices like walking, yoga, or stretching. These keep your body engaged while gently soothing the nervous system (Streeter et al., 2012).
2. Focus on Sensory Grounding
Instead of closing your eyes and going inward, try external grounding: holding something warm, listening to soothing sounds, or noticing five things you can see, four you can touch, etc.
3. Name What’s Happening
Sometimes, just recognizing the reaction can reduce its power. Saying to yourself, “My body feels activated right now because this is unfamiliar, not dangerous,” can create a sense of agency.
4. Shorten the Time
Start with 30 seconds of breathwork or 1 minute of quiet, and build up slowly. Don’t force 20-minute meditations if your system isn’t ready.
5. Try Co-Regulation
Soothing doesn’t have to be solo. Sit with someone you trust, hold a pet (one of my favorites!) , or even listen to a recorded meditation or podcast. Being “with” someone (even virtually) can help create a sense of safety (Porges, 2011).
Working With a Therapist Can Help
If this feels familiar, you don’t have to figure it out alone. As a therapist who works within the trauma-conscious yoga method and somatic approaches, I help clients rebuild trust with their bodies in a way that feels safe and supported. Together, we can explore gentle ways to reconnect with rest and regulation. We’ll move at your pace, using tools that honor both your lived experience and your nervous system’s wisdom.
References
Heide, F. J., & Borkovec, T. D. (1983). Relaxation-induced anxiety: Paradoxical anxiety enhancement due to relaxation training. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51(2), 171–182. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.51.2.171
Kim, H. S., Schneider, S. M., Kravitz, L., Mermier, C., & Burge, M. R. (2014). Mind–body practices for posttraumatic stress disorder. Journal of Investigative Medicine, 61(5), 827–834. https://doi.org/10.231/JIM.0b013e31828f89e1
Khalsa, S. S., Rudrauf, D., Feinstein, J. S., & Tranel, D. (2009). The pathways of interoceptive awareness. Nature Neuroscience, 12(12), 1494–1496. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.2411
Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
Streeter, C. C., Gerbarg, P. L., Saper, R. B., Ciraulo, D. A., & Brown, R. P. (2012). Effects of yoga on the autonomic nervous system, gamma-aminobutyric-acid, and allostasis in epilepsy, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Medical Hypotheses, 78(5), 571–579. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.mehy.2012.01.021
Thayer, J. F., Åhs, F., Fredrikson, M., Sollers III, J. J., & Wager, T. D. (2000). A meta-analysis of heart rate variability and neuroimaging studies: Implications for heart rate variability as a marker of stress and health. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 33(2), 81–88. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2008.02.003