Holiday Mental Health Tips for Anxiety, Burnout, and People-Pleasing

The holidays can be meaningful and joyful and also overwhelming, exhausting, and emotionally complicated. If you live with anxiety, struggle with burnout, or tend to put others’ needs before your own, this season can feel like a pressure cooker of expectations.

You’re not alone.
And you’re not doing anything wrong.
Holidays are simply hard for many people because they magnify the very patterns and dynamics you’re already navigating.

Here are compassionate, realistic, holiday mental health tips to help you move through the season with more grounding, ease, and self-respect.

1. Honor Your Energy Instead of Your Obligations

Many people with anxiety or people-pleasing habits feel obligated to say “yes” to every invitation, tradition, or family request. But your energy is not unlimited, especially if you’re already burned out.

Try this:
Before committing to anything, pause and ask yourself:

• Do I genuinely want to do this?

• Do I have the capacity for this?

• What will it hurt me emotionally or physically?

Example:
Instead of attending three holiday gatherings in one weekend, choose one and give yourself permission to skip the others. Say, “I’m keeping things low-key this season, but I hope you all have a wonderful time.” You don’t need to over explain or justify your schedule to others, it’s okay to keep it simple and say no thank you.

2. Plan for Anxiety Before It Arrives

Holiday anxiety often comes from unpredictability, family dynamics, overstimulation, or disrupted routines.

Create a simple “calm plan” you can use anywhere.

Calm plan examples:

• Drive your own car so you can leave early without explanation.

• Give yourself a “script” before family conversations that feel triggering.

• Step outside for a 3-minute sensory break.

• Keep grounding tools with you (breathing exercises, a mantra, a fidget, cold water on wrists).

• Offer to run an errand or schedule time out of the house.

Helpful grounding mantra:
“I can slow down. I can step away. I don’t have to respond immediately.”

3. Set Boundaries That Protect Your Emotional Bandwidth

Boundaries can feel uncomfortable, especially for people-pleasers, but they are acts of protection that are so needed during the holiday season.

Practical boundary examples:

• “I can come for two hours, but I’ll head home after that.”

• “I’m not discussing my job/dating life/health today.”

• “I don’t have capacity to host this year.”

• “Let’s talk about something lighter.”

You don’t have to explain, justify, or apologize. A short, clear boundary is legitimate all on its own.

4. Expect Changing Emotions And Make Space for Them

Even positive holiday moments can feel draining when you're anxious or burned out. You might feel joy and grief, excitement and dread, closeness and frustration, sometimes all within the same hour.

Shift from judgment to curiosity:

• “What do I need right now?”

• “Where did that feeling come from?”

• “How can I support myself in this moment?”

• “Ooh, I’m noticing a bit of sadness right now. I’ll make sure I check back in with that feeling tonight.”

You’re allowed to have a full range of emotions during the holidays, that’s completely normal and valid.

5. Create Micro-Rest Moments to Prevent Burnout Surges

Burnout isn’t healed by a single long vacation; it heals through consistent moments of recovery. The holidays often involve more stimulation, more socializing, more emotional labor —so small pockets of rest matter even more.

Micro-rest ideas:

• Lock yourself in the bathroom for three quiet minutes.

• Take a short walk alone after dinner.

• Sit in your parked car before going inside the house.

• Delay text responses by an hour.

• Take “screen breaks” between social events.

Rest doesn’t have to be dramatic or mean a whole day to yourself. It can be a few quiet intentional moments that others may not even notice.

6. Reduce Gift Stress by Simplifying Your Approach

Gift-giving often activates perfectionism, social comparison, or fear of disappointing others.

Try simplifying:

• Set a firm budget and stick to it.

• Choose one gift type for everyone (candles, books, treats).

• Opt for experiences instead of items.

• Offer shared time or help instead of physical gifts.

A meaningful connection and intention is far more valuable than a perfect gift. Also, everyone in your life does not need a gift this year. Who are your top priorities for gift giving and how can you show others you appreciate them in other ways?

7. Let Go of “Holiday Shoulds”

Feeling like you “should” be cheerful, social, productive, generous, or festive adds unnecessary pressure.

A more compassionate approach:

• You don’t have to enjoy every part of the holidays.

• You don’t have to participate in traditions that drain you.

• You don’t have to fake a mood you aren’t in.

• You don’t have to earn rest or joy.

Your holiday can be quiet if you need quiet. It can be small if you need small. It can be your new traditions over familial ones that no longer fit with your life.

8. Build a Safety Net for People-Pleasers

If you’re someone who automatically says yes or absorbs others’ emotions, prepare gentle tools to avoid slipping into old patterns.

Try this:
Choose a “buddy” (i.e. a partner, sibling, or friend) who you can text things like:

• “I need help saying no.”

• “Please remind me I don’t have to stay longer.”

• “Tell me it’s okay to leave.”

Sometimes the smallest validation can prevent the biggest burnout spiral.

9. Practice Self-Compassion Instead of Self-Pressure

When you feel overwhelmed, speak to yourself the way you would speak to someone you love.

Try phrases like:

• “I’m doing the best I can.”

• “It makes sense that this feels hard.”

• “I don’t need to hold everything together.”

• “I can be gentle with myself right now.”

Self-compassion can be really stabilizing in moments of high stress, especially validating and remembering that other reasonable people in your situation would be feeling the same way.

10. Give Yourself Permission to Make This Season Yours

You get to decide what holidays mean for you this year. Not your family, not tradition, not societal expectations. Your holiday doesn’t have to look like anyone else's. It only has to feel supportive to you.

• Some years are about connection.

• Some are about survival.

• Some are about stillness.

• Some are about healing.

A Gentle Invitation

If the holidays bring up anxiety, burnout, people-pleasing patterns, or old emotional wounds, you don’t have to navigate that alone. Therapy can give you tools to stay grounded, set healthier boundaries, and move through the season with more clarity and self-compassion.

If you’d like support, you’re welcome to book a consultation call to see if therapy is a good fit.
Your emotional well-being matters during the holidays and every day.

Happy Holidays from Tiny Cottage Therapy!