The holidays can be meaningful and joyful and also overwhelming, exhausting, and emotionally complicated. If you live with anxiety, struggle with burnout, or tend to put others’ needs before your own, this season can feel like a pressure cooker of expectations.

Most of us move through life with a long list of things we should be doing. But “shoulds” aren’t values. They’re often inherited expectations passed down from family, culture, community, or workplace norms. And when those expectations guide our choices more than our inner compass does, we end up feeling disconnected, resentful, overwhelmed, or unsure of who we are and what we want.

“Be a team player.” If you’ve ever read a job posting or sat through a performance review, you’ve probably seen this phrase. It sounds innocent, even virtuous. After all, teamwork is important, right?

But here’s the thing: this so-called “team player” expectation often comes with hidden costs that not everyone feels them equally.

Helping professionals and anyone whose job centers on supporting others—tend to be some of the most compassionate, emotionally attuned people in the workforce. Yet those same strengths make them particularly vulnerable to burnout.

Birthdays are supposed to be joyful, affirming milestones—but for many people-pleasers, they can feel wildly uncomfortable. If you find yourself dreading your birthday rather than looking forward to it, you’re not alone. Here’s why this happens, what’s going on beneath the surface, and how you can navigate it more gently.

Many of us grew up believing that being “nice” meant saying yes, keeping the peace, and putting others’ needs first. On the surface, this looks generous and kind. But beneath the surface, people-pleasing often has less to do with kindness and more to do with fear.

So many of us feel this deep need to help, support, and care for others. This is not a bad quality, in a lot of cases it can be an absolutely good quality. However, sometimes we get so plugged into this role of giving to others that we completely deplete ourselves. Understanding the differences between empathy and responsibility can be a key step in making sure you don’t overextend and can keep being that kind caring human that you are!

We’ve all had moments when something we said or did didn't sit right. Maybe we snapped at someone we care about. Or forgot an important birthday. In the aftermath, two powerful emotions can show up: guilt and shame.

At first glance, they can feel similar. Both bring a heavy emotional weight. Both can trigger a desire to retreat or “fix” something. But understanding the difference between guilt and shame is essential for emotional healing and mental well-being.