I’m guessing if you’re here it’s because the very notion of confrontation makes your stomach drop. And if you do feel that way, you’re amongst a lot of good company. Many of us grew up in a way that made us dread, fear, or even panic at the notion of confronting someone especially if it’s about our own hurt feelings. For many self-proclaimed people-pleasers, causes your nervous system to spike. Your heart races, your mind jumps to worst-case scenarios, and suddenly staying quiet seems far safer than speaking up.

Many of us grew up believing that being “nice” meant saying yes, keeping the peace, and putting others’ needs first. On the surface, this looks generous and kind. But beneath the surface, people-pleasing often has less to do with kindness and more to do with fear.

So many of us feel this deep need to help, support, and care for others. This is not a bad quality, in a lot of cases it can be an absolutely good quality. However, sometimes we get so plugged into this role of giving to others that we completely deplete ourselves. Understanding the differences between empathy and responsibility can be a key step in making sure you don’t overextend and can keep being that kind caring human that you are!

We’ve all had moments when something we said or did didn't sit right. Maybe we snapped at someone we care about. Or forgot an important birthday. In the aftermath, two powerful emotions can show up: guilt and shame.

At first glance, they can feel similar. Both bring a heavy emotional weight. Both can trigger a desire to retreat or “fix” something. But understanding the difference between guilt and shame is essential for emotional healing and mental well-being.