I currently call Sonoma County home, and although I did not grow up here, I have come to love all that Sonoma County offers. This county—like Napa County, San Luis Obispo County, and Riverside County— is highly known for its wine industry and the beauty, artistry, and community that comes along with it. Visitors see rolling vineyards, award-winning tasting rooms, and fancy bottles. But those who work in this world know another layer, one that includes chronic stress, long hours, unpredictable seasons, and now, more than ever, a deep sense of uncertainty about the future.

The holidays can be meaningful and joyful and also overwhelming, exhausting, and emotionally complicated. If you live with anxiety, struggle with burnout, or tend to put others’ needs before your own, this season can feel like a pressure cooker of expectations.

Most of us move through life with a long list of things we should be doing. But “shoulds” aren’t values. They’re often inherited expectations passed down from family, culture, community, or workplace norms. And when those expectations guide our choices more than our inner compass does, we end up feeling disconnected, resentful, overwhelmed, or unsure of who we are and what we want.

“Be a team player.” If you’ve ever read a job posting or sat through a performance review, you’ve probably seen this phrase. It sounds innocent, even virtuous. After all, teamwork is important, right?

But here’s the thing: this so-called “team player” expectation often comes with hidden costs that not everyone feels them equally.

As the days grow shorter and the temperatures drop, many people notice their mood shifting. November, especially, tends to bring a wave of heaviness, tiredness, or unexpected sadness. If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I feel down every November?”, you’re far from alone.

Helping professionals and anyone whose job centers on supporting others—tend to be some of the most compassionate, emotionally attuned people in the workforce. Yet those same strengths make them particularly vulnerable to burnout.

Many of us grew up hearing explicit or implicit messages like “Work hard, make your family proud, and don’t waste the sacrifices that were made for you.” These messages often come from love, perseverance, and cultural survival. They’re passed down through generations that endured hardship by prioritizing endurance, humility, and achievement.

But over time, these values can turn into overwhelming pressure. You may feel driven to achieve, hesitant to rest, or afraid to disappoint others, while constantly living with a quiet sense of “not enough.”

You find yourself staying at your Outlook email feeling dread, overwhelm, and maybe a sense of detachment from the excited new hire you once were. You’re over caffeinated but still feeling drained. The coworkers and supervisor you once thought would be friends and mentors, feel like strangers or worse—enemies.

If you find yourself wondering “Should I quit my job?”, you are not alone. The fact that you are even thinking about it, means it’s time to pause and reflect on your next steps.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” “What are you doing to do with your major?” “What’s your plan after school?”

How many of us couldn’t even count the numbers of times we were asked these questions in our lifetimes. Living in the U.S. especially there is so much pressure to find a perfect job in a good career path. Often this lifelong pressure leads towards disappointment when we finally land the job that we were supposed to love.

If you're feeling worn out, irritable, or just plain "over it," you’re not alone. Burnout is something I see often in therapy—especially in high-achievers, business owners, caregivers, and folks who are constantly putting others’ needs before their own. It doesn’t just happen at work. Burnout can show up in school, in parenting, and even in your relationships.

Let’s break it down: what burnout really is, how to spot it, why some of us are more vulnerable to it, and most importantly how to recover and prevent it from taking over again.