I currently call Sonoma County home, and although I did not grow up here, I have come to love all that Sonoma County offers. This county—like Napa County, San Luis Obispo County, and Riverside County— is highly known for its wine industry and the beauty, artistry, and community that comes along with it. Visitors see rolling vineyards, award-winning tasting rooms, and fancy bottles. But those who work in this world know another layer, one that includes chronic stress, long hours, unpredictable seasons, and now, more than ever, a deep sense of uncertainty about the future.

For many people, the New Year carries a sense of possibility; think fresh starts, big dreams, new habits. But on the flip side, this idea that we need to create major change in our lives can provoke anxiety and internalized pressure. Instead of excitement, you might feel guilt, or dread every time someone asks “Do you have any New Year’s Resolutions?”. The idea of setting ambitious goals might bring up feelings of failure, not hope.

The holidays can be meaningful and joyful and also overwhelming, exhausting, and emotionally complicated. If you live with anxiety, struggle with burnout, or tend to put others’ needs before your own, this season can feel like a pressure cooker of expectations.

Most of us move through life with a long list of things we should be doing. But “shoulds” aren’t values. They’re often inherited expectations passed down from family, culture, community, or workplace norms. And when those expectations guide our choices more than our inner compass does, we end up feeling disconnected, resentful, overwhelmed, or unsure of who we are and what we want.

Birthdays are supposed to be joyful, affirming milestones—but for many people-pleasers, they can feel wildly uncomfortable. If you find yourself dreading your birthday rather than looking forward to it, you’re not alone. Here’s why this happens, what’s going on beneath the surface, and how you can navigate it more gently.

Welcome Back to My Holistic Healing Interview Series

Today I’m interviewing Chloe France, MSW, who is a social worker specializing in working with folks with dementia and their caregivers. We wanted to talk today about the upcoming holidays and why caregivers may need and benefit from some specialized support. 

Take a moment to think about how you've talked to yourself today, or even in the last hour. Were you kind?